Standard Response

When someone asks, “How are you?”

Most of the time, they already know what they want to hear.

“I’m fine, thank you.”

That is usually enough. Nobody needs the full report. Nobody wants the director’s cut of whatever emotional car crash has been happening inside your head. We ask because that is what people do, then wait patiently for the socially approved answer so we can continue talking about ourselves.

Maybe that sounds cynical.
Maybe it is.

But if we are being painfully honest, human beings are incredibly good at caring when something somehow connects back to them. We listen selectively. We worry selectively. We ask questions we are not always prepared to hear the answer to.

So this piece is our highly unnecessary response guide for one of humanity’s most common conversations.

Wind up.
Pre-swing.
Take off.
Airborne.
Commit.
Full send.
Follow through.

Because apparently saying “I’m fine, thank you” was no longer enough.
And honestly, it is never too late to spin-kick your friends.*

*Metaphorically. Please remain friends.