Blood & Foam / Black

Today, I have chosen peace.
This should concern everyone.

I am calm in the way a person becomes calm after exhausting every other possible emotion. Nothing has been resolved. I have simply reached the point where anger has folded its arms, sat down and started observing.

Maybe this is spiritual growth.

Maybe my brain has finally snapped into a more comfortable position.
It is difficult to tell.

I could wake up and choose violence, but violence requires effort, and apparently I am evolving. I now allow the universe to test me without reacting immediately. I smile. I breathe deeply. I remind myself that everything is temporary. Especially my patience.

There is a strange freedom in no longer knowing whether you are becoming enlightened or simply losing your ability to care.

Either way, the room is quieter.

The problems are still here. The madness is still here. I am still an unstable biological situation pretending to be a person.

But for now, I am sitting peacefully beside the fire instead of trying to put it out.

This is what people think growth looks like. Trust me, I’m nowhere near at peace with myself.