{"title":"The Cost of Existence Is Everything","description":null,"products":[{"product_id":"shirt-01","title":"Shirt. 01","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eSemi-oversized fit shirt with cropped length.\u003cbr\u003eMade to fall clean. 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Not yet, anyway.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eThere is just too much noise inside me, and every thought has arrived wearing boxing gloves. I could explain what is happening, but that would require language, patience and a version of myself interested in being understood.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eSo I choose silence. Not the gentle kind.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThe kind that makes people wonder whether I have found peace or started keeping evidence. The kind that sits quietly in the corner while every possible reaction fights to be the first one released.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003ePeople mistake silence for calm because they cannot hear what it is holding back. \u003cbr\u003eSometimes I am not quiet because I have nothing to say.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eI am quiet because every sentence currently available to me would make the situation worse.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eSo I breathe. \u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eI stare.\u003cbr\u003eI let the world continue believing I am composed.\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eMeanwhile, somewhere inside me, something is beating the living shit out of me.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"anotherandom","offers":[{"title":"1","offer_id":58267842871599,"sku":null,"price":135.0,"currency_code":"MYR","in_stock":true},{"title":"2","offer_id":58267842904367,"sku":null,"price":135.0,"currency_code":"MYR","in_stock":true},{"title":"3","offer_id":58267842937135,"sku":null,"price":135.0,"currency_code":"MYR","in_stock":true},{"title":"4","offer_id":58267842969903,"sku":null,"price":135.0,"currency_code":"MYR","in_stock":true},{"title":"5","offer_id":58267843002671,"sku":null,"price":135.0,"currency_code":"MYR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0813\/7044\/8175\/files\/AR_Website_SKU_B2_BF_W__01-01.png?v=1785477765"},{"product_id":"blood-foam-b","title":"Blood \u0026 Foam \/ Black","description":"\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eToday, I have chosen peace.\u003cbr\u003eThis should concern everyone.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI am calm in the way a person becomes calm after exhausting every other possible emotion. Nothing has been resolved. I have simply reached the point where anger has folded its arms, sat down and started observing.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMaybe this is spiritual growth.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eMaybe my brain has finally snapped into a more comfortable position.\u003cbr\u003eIt is difficult to tell.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eI could wake up and choose violence, but violence requires effort, and apparently I am evolving. I now allow the universe to test me without reacting immediately. I smile. I breathe deeply. I remind myself that everything is temporary. Especially my patience.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThere is a strange freedom in no longer knowing whether you are becoming enlightened or simply losing your ability to care.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cspan style=\"font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, 'San Francisco', 'Segoe UI', Roboto, 'Helvetica Neue', sans-serif; font-size: 0.875rem;\"\u003eEither way, the room is quieter.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003c\/span\u003eThe problems are still here. The madness is still here. I am still an unstable biological situation pretending to be a person.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eBut for now, I am sitting peacefully beside the fire instead of trying to put it out.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThis is what people think growth looks like. 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How to keep moving because standing still gives everything you have been avoiding enough time to catch up.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eThey tell you to feel it, let it go and get back to your life.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eAs though grief can be contained within ten minutes. As though the body understands schedules. 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